A day like Monday made me have second thoughts about cycling to work. There are few days that I drive to work. This was almost one of them. I prefer to cycle. Even in the worst weather. It keeps me fit, it helps me wake up, it relieves the stress of the day, I save money on fuel, I don't need to pay for public transport and, what with all the noise about global warming, it helps do my bit for the environment.

Gordon Brown announced recently that a green hotline will be made available to advise people on an eco-friendly lifestyle. Images flood the mind of a 'Batphone', in green rather than the usual red, placed prominently in some secret Climate Change Task Force HQ, maned by biliously uniformed henchmen purposefully waiting to provide you with a 'home energy audit'. (I am sure the call will be recorded. No, it will not be used to train the auditeers. Don't be silly. The government will store a profile of every 'Batphone' caller.)

Of course, with Brown's love of mottos, HQ is sure to have "Reduce, Reuse, Recycle" in full view to inspire the auditeers to hard work.

What a waste of tax payers money. Well, he does have it to spend as the Government believes the most expedient way to meet EU emissions targets is to place a greater tax burden on the public. You and I are deemed enviro-villains that must be punished by increased taxes on fuel, decreased bin collections, fines if you have the wrong rubbish in the wrong container and any number of other charges that they can dream up.

What about rewards? Current government education policy suggests that a child should be continually rewarded for doing ... well, anything that is normal and positive, like saying please and thank you. So a little consistency from the government would be appreciated. I would welcome a tax break for my use of a bicycle. I reckon I have accrued green credit, like those petrol points that could be exchanged for a torch or mug. If Brown does more than billow warm words, why not provide incentives, rather than treating the public as villain number one.